Condition

My condition is getting worse day by day. Letih ehhh

Through thick and thin

Hari ini memang macam confirm nak pergi rest somewhere. Bukan jauh pun, tapi at least nak rest puas-puas. So, Azuar and me decide nak kerja separuh hari je hari ni and terus berdesup nak pergi Genting. Walaupun macam boring, tapi paling dekat lah. Nak pergi Bukit Tinggi, lagi lah super duper boring. Nak pergi Port Dickson, tak nak, tak best, nak tempat sejuk juga. So hopefully, malam ni ada lah bilik hotel yang kosong. Dari last week call memang penuh, so kali ni memang try and error je lah. Azuar cakap, kalau dapat yang mahal, bayar je lah.

Baru hari ni, kitorang perasan, ada plan nak pergi Singapore this month, tapi macamana lah tak terbooking ticket tu...Tak apalah, lain kali..

Hish..tup tup tup dah lebih 6bulan jadi isteri Azuar. So banyak lagi cacat celanya. Bergaduh tu biasalah kan, mesti lah ada. Tapi tak ada lah lama sangat. Kahwin kan meaning perkongsian hidup. So as for me, benda ni memang janggal lagi nak adapt dalam hidup. Sebab dari kecil I pantang nak berkongsi benda dengan adik beradik. Dorang tahu kot macamana I marah kalau dorang makan choc I yang ada dalam fridge, and kadang-kadang minta izin beria kalau nak guna or borrow my stuff or curi-curi guna, bila I tangkap dorang I mengamuk satu dunia. So, when Azuar borrows something from me, or guna terlama I jadi marah. Habit ni memang tak boleh ubah la...Entah la macam mana. Memang anak no.2 memang tak boleh share2 kot. I membebel bila Azuar guna laptop I, camera, mp4, kereta and so on. Padahal kalau I guna barang dia, tak ada lah dia kisah, I rosakkan pun dia redha je. Bab duit pun macam tuh juga, I'm that kind yang too fussy. Nampaknya I kena banyak baca buku agama ni, kena membantu kewangan suami juga. Ya lah, susah juga awal2 fasa kehidupan berdikari dan perkongsian ni, mak bapak bela dari tak pernah berkongsi, nak apa terus dapat, so skrang ni, kena la tukar sikit-sikit.

Hish, dapat laki baik macam Azuar pun tak reti bersyukur juga kan...Yang tahu wife dia ni skrang tak boleh bau smua benda, asyik nak termuntah je, yang paham dah dekat sebulan dapur tak berasap, yang selalu willing nak cuci pinggan, vacuum rumah, kutip baju kotor, tanya pagi2 nak pergi keja pakai baju apa, iron baju siap2, yang paling penting...sanggup bawa tray food siap atas katil. Azuar, u tanya ni tiap2 hari, comel lah, "Sayang, nak apa lagi?".

Thanks so much for every thick and thin moments.

Tunggang langgang

It was a hectic weekend. Pheww penat....

Somebody is persuading me to accompany him for football match tonight. Ala...terpaksa dalam rela la..Tak pergi kan kecik hati plak laki teman...Dari minggu lepas dok tunjuk proposal kan, macam-macam alasan yang ada... Jadi bagi chance pergi juga la malam ni. Orang suruh pergi sorang, dia cakap tak nak tinggal bini plak sorang kat rumah. Tapi memang mamat ni dari dulu, dari sebelum bernikah, sampai bini dah bunting, kemana nak berkepit, nak pergi lepak dengan kawan kat mamak pun sibuk nak ajak bini.

Another next week, final exam dah start. So I sangat la gundah gulana, but I'm happy at least, semua exam take home test bebeh...Tapi for sure la sangat triple susah. Haa... semalam dapat result last exam, I memang risau subject ni. U all tau tak, students ada 3orang je, 2org lecturer from UKM, and me, young lady yang baru sambung PhD ni kan. So dalam class tu, I banyak diam je, menyampuk pun sikit-sikit je. I memang rasa leave behind and kerdil gitu. My result at least tak mendukacitakan, I tinggi dari dorang. Alhamdulillah.

My house is in messy. Malu tengok. Tapi I memang tak laratnya bila dah start morning sickness ni. Biasanya Azuar suka buat bersepah. Bila dah rumah macam ni, I tanya dia ,"Suka tak rumah condition macam ni?" Dia cakap tak suka, tau plak dia nih. So sekarang dia banyak la buat housechores.

Forgetful

Mula-mula suka sangat konon tak ada lagi morning sickness. Lepas tu hambik kau, 6weeks of pregnancy, nak loya all day long. Malam terjaga ada terasa juga. Hari tu beria cakap kat Zahra, "I dont have any morning sickness yet". By the way, my pregnancy amnesia kicks in, I find myself more forgetful. So selalu cakap kat kawan-kawan, "Tadi ko cakap apa eh?" , dan kawan-kawan rasa macam nak luku je Mahirah ni tau. Asyik kena mengulang je.

Time baca journal and articles, asyik terlupa tak payah cakap la. So kadang-kadang, harap ini jadi motivation, so the baby will do like the mummy too. Harap-harap dia pun rajin nak study until PhD juga. Yes, I wish.

Kalau tahu pregnant ni susah, mesti tak lawan cakap mak masa kecil-kecil dulu. Betul orang cakap, bila dah nak jadi ibu ni, baru tahu langit ni tinggi ke rendah.

I like makan free

Ini sebenarnya on our last weekend, I attended 4 openhouses in a row on Saturday and also I had 4 in Sunday. Makan free ni semua orang suka, I cant deny it. But I tak jumpa lagi ketupat palas dan rendang daging akhir-akhir Syawal ni dan openhouse semua offer lauk moden like mee kari, nasi dagang, nasi tomato, nak jumpa lauk pauk Raya pun payah. I mengadu teringin nak makan ketupat palas and rendang dekat Azuar, but he said nanti dia cari kat pasar je lah.

Weekend ni ada lagi openhouse and I'm looking forward the menu yang I teringin sangat ni....and biar nampak macam mood raya lagi.

My emotion

It was a shocked, when i knew my classmate was in her 5months of pregnancy. Still slim and even i cant notice her tummy. The Iranian lady is going to defer her study for next sem and I'm sticking on my decision to just go through the next sem since Insyaallah i'm going to deliver our pride and joy during sem break. The Iranian said my baby will be Made in Malaysia. She seems like me, she's too excited with her first pregnancy.Hahahaha. Enough bout that.

This morning, I'm attended a seminar by a Prof and an editor for top-class ranked journal. How I feel too small in knowledge about writting. I felt empty or it can be said, as zero. Dari I tak pernah jumpa student lain, so, the seminar is likes a gathering for post-grads students. Everybody keep asking, "How's your thesis?, when is your proposal defence?" and all sorts of questions that i cant answer on the spot. I takut. I feel like i was leave behind and now, I'm already in my 2nd sem and still confusing about my objectives of study. My scholarship will be end up on Dec 2011, and I'm not so sure what's going happen to me.

Hah kan dah takut. I hope I can have a miracle likes what was happen to my research during my Master. I did my research only just a month before the submission date. It was lucky when I got A+ from both first and second readers. Supervisor texted me the result on early morning of Saturday, he surprised. Talking about that, I macam down bila laptop dan bag laptop kena curi, when u put everything in it includes your journals, articles, softcopy, pendrive and etc. Bila hilang, terus terkesima, and down all day long when I had nothing in my hands. So the next day I woke up with motivations, I just memorize everything and did regression again on my data and I did all out for just a month. Allah listens our pray if kita pun berusaha. But lucky sides not always yours.

My permanent place during working hours.

Lucky sides not always yours. I'm on my way. Introduction, literature review......

Mood swings

Haa..lama juga Mahirah diam je. I'm totally busy for the whole weeks, paper, assignments and during weekend, there are open house straight in a row. Nampak tak dapur macam tak berasap kan. Jadi bila weekend juga, housechores tak sempat nak buat, since i'm busying myself with the free food. Hahaha malas bini Azuar. Azuar, weekend ni u still kena mopping all around the house tau.

When I annouced, my first pregnancy to our families, everybody keep asking me, macam2 ok. But the most thing is 'morning sickness'. Hah ni memang kena ready jawapan siap-siap. For me, I dont have any yet, I'm praying too I dont have to bear all that things. Takut. Loya? Tak. Muntah? Tak. Marah? Ya. But speaking about pregnancy mood swings, hah ini memang mencanak dalam graph, macam PMS sepanjang tahun. Ada benda je nak beergaduh dengan Azuar. Tapi yang pelik dia cool je, bini dia beremosi, dia rilex je. Semua benda macam tak kena kat mata I tau, pasal bag laptop la, turn kemas katil la, iron baju lah, baju susun salah la, ada je lah..obviously it's all the small things.

Everyday I still take Folic Acid, eat kiwi and drink Anmum Materna. Tiap kali minum Anmum Materna tu, macam nak keluar balik segala isi perut, but I was thinking about Azuar, yang tiap2 hari bancuhkan susu sebelum I tidur, kena lah ambil hati pakcik tu kan. Azuar is so excited, even he printed a mom-to-be journal for me. He read loudly every morning the progress of the baby. Comel laki aku ni. Walaupun bini tetap macam singa tiap-tiap hari. So hari ni, I nak buat rekod tanpa gaduh atau bercakar sampai jam 12malam ni. Hope it's working. Harap je lah.

Hah bontot lebar.

P/s: The hubby dah get ready my birthday present ke?